his gf is cheating

[Brock Kickass]

The problem with getting involved is that sometimes friends don't always want to hear the truth, even if they are good friends. Besides that, you only see what's on the outside. Sometimes it works for people even though it looks to you like it won't. I have a really good friend who was dating an awful girl. She messed with his mind, got him thrown in jail in 'Vegas, and almost cost him his job. He finally broke up with her, but then she crept back in. I told him he was stupid to let her anywhere near him. I told her she was a nutjob and was ruining my buddy's life. Neither of them listened. Eventually, she sort of normaled out and they ended up married. It was pretty awkward for a while. She didn't forget the $hitty things I said to her, and about her. It made it hard for my friend for a while, because they were married and she didn't really want me around. It took a long time, but time heals all and now she and my wife get along great. We all get together when we can and she truly is good company. Lesson learned: if a friend asks, and only if they ask, offer an honest, objective opinion ONCE, and then butt out. Don't make it personal and let your friends do what they think is right. If it's ruining your life, I guess you don't need that type of person in your life. Tough choices for sure, but you never know what someone else is thinking.

 

[linkgt]

Don't know if switchin' teams is the answer.

 

[nismos14]

If you lose a friend over doing the right thing you should really ask yourself if they were someone you want to call your friend to begin with.

 

[Nastybutler]

The problem with getting involved is that sometimes friends don't always want to hear the truth, even if they are good friends. Besides that, you only see what's on the outside. Sometimes it works for people even though it looks to you like it won't. I have a really good friend who was dating an awful girl. She messed with his mind, got him thrown in jail in 'Vegas, and almost cost him his job. He finally broke up with her, but then she crept back in. I told him he was stupid to let her anywhere near him. I told her she was a nutjob and was ruining my buddy's life. Neither of them listened. Eventually, she sort of normaled out and they ended up married. It was pretty awkward for a while. She didn't forget the $hitty things I said to her, and about her. It made it hard for my friend for a while, because they were married and she didn't really want me around. It took a long time, but time heals all and now she and my wife get along great. We all get together when we can and she truly is good company. Lesson learned: if a friend asks, and only if they ask, offer an honest, objective opinion ONCE, and then butt out. Don't make it personal and let your friends do what they think is right. If it's ruining your life, I guess you don't need that type of person in your life. Tough choices for sure, but you never know what someone else is thinking.

I had a similar situation happen in college, but without the happy ending. Pretty much ruined the friendship between me and one of my best friends since high school when he started dating this girl who none of our group of friends liked. She had tried to break up the relationship of another friend of ours by lying about him trying to hook up with her. If you knew this guy you'd know he'd never do that to the girl he was with. Anyway, after that we all hated this girl, then my best friend started dating her. Me and another mutual friend let him (and her) know exactly how we felt about that. We thought he'd just have some fun with her and dump her. Wrong. They're still married 15 years later. I was in their wedding, oddly enough, as was the other mutual friend who was vocal about her being a POS. But after that, we've only spoken a few times.

So when another of my best friends was about to get married to a girl I couldn't stand, I bit my tongue. She was a real manipulative, self centered person. That marriage only lasted four or five years, and she'd cheated on him. He asked me, "Why didn't you guys warn me about her before I married her?" I told him, "I tried that with Andy and we're no longer friends. I didn't want to make the same mistake with you."

Now I let my friends make their own choices, good or bad, as long as they have all the pertinant information. If I know one of them is being cheated on for a fact, I'll definitly let them know.

TL;DR: Let your friends make their own decisions about who they date/marry.

 

[BKP]

How do they scratch their opposite shoulder when it itches...? (Or put on deodorant for that matter?). And, do they have to shower alone 'cause their junk has shriveled into oblivion from the roids?

I'm a fan of lifting... but, dayummmmm....

 

[linkgt]

How do they scratch their opposite shoulder when it itches...? (Or put on deodorant for that matter?). And, do they have to shower alone 'cause their junk has shriveled into oblivion from the roids?

I'm a fan of lifting... but, dayummmmm....

No idea. I enjoy lifting as well, but modern day bodybuilding is just too out there...

 

[linkgt]

I had a similar situation happen in college, but without the happy ending. Pretty much ruined the friendship between me and one of my best friends since high school when he started dating this girl who none of our group of friends liked. She had tried to break up the relationship of another friend of ours by lying about him trying to hook up with her. If you knew this guy you'd know he'd never do that to the girl he was with. Anyway, after that we all hated this girl, then my best friend started dating her. Me and another mutual friend let him (and her) know exactly how we felt about that. We thought he'd just have some fun with her and dump her. Wrong. They're still married 15 years later. I was in their wedding, oddly enough, as was the other mutual friend who was vocal about her being a POS. But after that, we've only spoken a few times.

So when another of my best friends was about to get married to a girl I couldn't stand, I bit my tongue. She was a real manipulative, self centered person. That marriage only lasted four or five years, and she'd cheated on him. He asked me, "Why didn't you guys warn me about her before I married her?" I told him, "I tried that with Andy and we're no longer friends. I didn't want to make the same mistake with you."

Now I let my friends make their own choices, good or bad, as long as they have all the pertinant information. If I know one of them is being cheated on for a fact, I'll definitly let them know.

TL;DR: Let your friends make their own decisions about who they date/marry.

So much this. No matter how much you warn a person about their partner, they will never listen. Your friend or family member will just end up ignoring you or dislike you.

 

[crobih]

Im pretty surprised how many people would just ignore something like this...

I see my friends as my family. If I knew my brothers wife was cheating on him, damn right I am going to tell him. If one of my friends knew my wife was cheating on me and said nothing, guess what? They would no longer be my friend if I found out. If you did come and tell me, I would have twice as much respect for you.

Yeah I'm a little stunned on that too. What kind of a friend can call himself a friend if he wouldn't help a friend out.

If brian is an abusive psycho then he wouldn't be a person I would consider a friend. That is the only way I could justify her cheating.if its anything else, well she could pack her stuff and peace out.

 

[Underdog_MLT]

I am sorry to hear about your troubles.

Personally I would suggest to tell Brian about what is happening and tell him that you did not approach him before since you needed 100% proof.

Do not speak to Amy about it as she will probably speak with Brian before you and try to turn things around and probably get Brian to blame you, especially since he is her ****.

I would start ditching Josh SLOWLY not to arouse any suspicion. However I would first get tangible proof and go with it to Brian. Explain to him everything, he will understand.

Whatever the outcome will be, you would have done the right thing and your conscience will be clean.

Ask yourself this, would you rather tell the truth and get your friend straight with the situation and maybe lose him, or you prefer to live with a lie so big, that you will probably not speak to him or face him the way you used to before this lie? It will eat you inside and later on it will be too late, she will continue to do this and after a marriage it will be much more difficult to tackle and Brian will be left much more broken hearted.

Let us know if you need any help.

 

[SpawnXX]

A persons character has a lot to do with how they would handle this situation. If you are the kind of person that could turn a blind eye to something like this and falsely deny your knowledge of it then that is a bed you made and can sleep in. If you are the kind of person who thinks the truth is the best scenario regardless of the outcome then act on that and confront your friend Brian.

Regardless of how a person treats another, it is always left to choice whether or not to leave them, cheat, or endure. It all comes back to a persons character/ethics. If physical or mental abuse is a factor then that is truly a sad situation; however, you must go on what you feel in your heart and gut. None of us can tell you what to do, because in the end... you are the one who has to live with your choices. Life as a product of your own decisions. Goodluck, my friend.

 

[GHOSTWITTHEMOST]

To tell Brian would be the right decision to me. He and josh are my friends and that why i asked them to be in my wedding. Nicole is Amy's pretty much only girlfriend. The other girls in the wedding are her family and my two sisters. We would have never though that Amy and josh would do this. I was shocked when I found out. I am really hoping that Amy and josh handle it themselves. I haven't told Brian because he WILL flip out. There's not really a question about that 1. He has told me before that if someone did touch Amy he wouldn't be able to hold back. He will go to jail.amy and Brian live together. There is a danger involved with telling him. Thats y josh and Amy won't say anything. Now Amy won't talk to Nicole because Nicole confronted her and now Amy feels attacked. Amy told Nicole that Brian needs to be handled differently than other people. He is an alcoholic. He is drunk pretty much everynight and does smell like boos in the morning. I am actually scared to tell him but them cheating behind his back can not continue. But it is. If Amy and josh call it off it will always be a big lie.

This thread has gotten long and a lot of people probably think I am POS for not saying anything. But thanks for all the replies! This is just a sick and twisted situation. Might say eff all these so called friends and just focus on me and my girl!

 

[JSP]

To tell Brian would be the right decision to me. He and josh are my friends and that why i asked them to be in my wedding. Nicole is Amy's pretty much only girlfriend. The other girls in the wedding are her family and my two sisters. We would have never though that Amy and josh would do this. I was shocked when I found out. I am really hoping that Amy and josh handle it themselves. I haven't told Brian because he WILL flip out. There's not really a question about that 1. He has told me before that if someone did touch Amy he wouldn't be able to hold back. He will go to jail.amy and Brian live together. There is a danger involved with telling him. Thats y josh and Amy won't say anything. Now Amy won't talk to Nicole because Nicole confronted her and now Amy feels attacked. Amy told Nicole that Brian needs to be handled differently than other people. He is an alcoholic. He is drunk pretty much everynight and does smell like boos in the morning. I am actually scared to tell him but them cheating behind his back can not continue. But it is. If Amy and josh call it off it will always be a big lie.

This thread has gotten long and a lot of people probably think I am POS for not saying anything. But thanks for all the replies! This is just a sick and twisted situation. Might say eff all these so called friends and just focus on me and my girl!

I hear ya bud.. I can count all my friends on one hand. And it wont take all 5 fingers either. Any time my wife and I do make a good friend, they seem to move away. (says something about us? haha). Or I end up moving away. Or I just end up not trusting them based on how they act, etc. My wife no longer really has any girl friends left. I only really have one or two friends myself I hang out with every once in a while... (Tatty here being one of them).

Sometimes just focusing on your family is the best action. Do what you need to do so your mind is clear and then focus on the two of you. If you keep friends out of this then good, if not... were they really true friends? (their actions kind of already answer that). You have a wedding coming up. CONGRATULATIONS by the way. THAT is what you should be excited about and making it an enjoyable and memorable experience for you and your future wife.

 

[Scott_Thomas]

I hear ya bud.. I can count all my friends on one hand. And it wont take all 5 fingers either. Any time my wife and I do make a good friend, they seem to move away. (says something about us? haha). Or I end up moving away. Or I just end up not trusting them based on how they act, etc. My wife no longer really has any girl friends left. I only really have one or two friends myself I hang out with every once in a while... (Tatty here being one of them).

Sometimes just focusing on your family is the best action. Do what you need to do so your mind is clear and then focus on the two of you. If you keep friends out of this then good, if not... were they really true friends? (their actions kind of already answer that). You have a wedding coming up. CONGRATULATIONS by the way. THAT is what you should be excited about and making it an enjoyable and memorable experience for you and your future wife.

I would have repped this post, but I cannot rep you still.

Great post, I feel the same way. Have had some great friends (especially in the military) but moving around a lot even when I was younger made it hard to keep friends. I have acquaintances, but no one I'd really call a good friend. I spend all my time with my family.

 

[JSP]

I obviously do still consider my friends that I left when moving friends... although Don (Dart) is really the only one I still talk to from VA, besides family. Even over there, had maybe 2 or 3 friends tops. Hard to find good friends.

 

[Alex6]

A persons character has a lot to do with how they would handle this situation. If you are the kind of person that could turn a blind eye to something like this and falsely deny your knowledge of it then that is a bed you made and can sleep in. If you are the kind of person who thinks the truth is the best scenario regardless of the outcome then act on that and confront your friend Brian.

Regardless of how a person treats another, it is always left to choice whether or not to leave them, cheat, or endure. It all comes back to a persons character/ethics. If physical or mental abuse is a factor then that is truly a sad situation; however, you must go on what you feel in your heart and gut. None of us can tell you what to do, because in the end... you are the one who has to live with your choices. Life as a product of your own decisions. Goodluck, my friend.

This!
And what is telling about Amy who (according to the OP) is treated badly, but instead of leaving bad relationship has chosen to cheat with someone in the circle of friends?!
Did you call Jerry Springer yet?

 

[Detrich]

Jerreee!

Jerreee!

Jerreee!

Jerreee!

 

[Anthony]

An epidemic of Whores.....


[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQQZMiHQhX8]Bill Burr - Epidemic of gold digging whores - YouTube[/ame]

 

[crobih]

An epidemic of Whores.....


Bill Burr - Epidemic of gold digging whores - YouTube

Hahaha burr is the man. His podcasts enlighten my monday morning.

 

[Marthy]

An epidemic of Whores.....


Bill Burr - Epidemic of gold digging whores - YouTube

Funniest one I heard in a while... LOL

 

[dart1963]

I obviously do still consider my friends that I left when moving friends... although Don (Dart) is really the only one I still talk to from VA, besides family. Even over there, had maybe 2 or 3 friends tops. Hard to find good friends.

yep... between work and family... hard to just chill and find good close friends... heck, Jay his brother and Dad were my second family here.... we all got together often.... sent the ladys off to play cards and we just chilled playing vid games or watching movies... having a few drinks.... bbq etc.

I have lots of other friends here now... but we are all so busy... just can't get together more than 2-3 times a year... hard to make close friends that way... I'd still bend over backwards for any of them and they would for me too.... but just dont have any one I can hang out with on a regular basis.

I really do hate living in the DC area.... we all commute way too far and the weekends seem to get shorter all the time... make the best of the time you do get to spend with friends and family...

back on topic..
can't even imagine being put into that situation... I've sat back and watched the replies... but it's just a sh..y situation and I have no advice either way... it's a rock and a hard place situation and only you know whats best as you have more details than you could ever get to us through a few paragraphs here. good luck