his gf is cheating
- Thread starter GHOSTWITTHEMOST
- Start date
This is not complicated & is very simple. Well.... Actually it's a cluster fl&k...
STFU & don't say anything. Don't be a rat.
What a man does with a female is his business. What you do with a female is your business. If you open your mouth about anyone you are the rat & you will be villified regardless of the outcome. You are now in a loose loose situation. So based on being in a loose loose the best thing is to keep your mouth shut & if it is found out that you knew about someone banging this person you can be honest & say you were afraid to say anything to anybody because you were in fact in a loose loose once you knew.
Quiet frankly the cheater should have never let you figure it out. It doesn't matter if he is an a$$ to his GF, if she doesnt like it she can leave, to cheat is a whore move on her part.
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Now, If you are going to rat because of whatever reason then the best thing to do is to screw it up for everyone. Don't rat behind someones back. Get all 3 together at once and tell them to STFU because4 you have something to say..
Tell them that they are all your friends but as of today lives will be changed. Tell them that you are hurt to even have the info but must share it to be loyal to everyone. And simply say, Does anyone here wish to share anything? The whore will look confused, thats when you look to the 2 guys & say " I love both of you & don;t want to loose either of you as a friend however I have to tell you what I have seen. Be sure to let all 3 know that you feel like the victim to be in the situation of knowing...
But again, I would say STFU about it, let it run it's course & deny that you knew anything about anything. As soon as your mouth opens, you will loose all 3 as friends.
In this case, Man law goes for both friends so evens out. Also, the one that seems like the least valuable friend is actually the most valuable.
PS, tell your fiancee & let her stir the pot because you know she will. However, since she will be your wife your real loyalty is to her only. So if your going to rat, rat to her first..
LOL @ how screwed up your situation is. All because of some whore...:facepalm:
No one ever agrees with me but wanted to share my .02...
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I can definetly agree with one of Anthony's ideas. Tell your fiancée.
2 reasons:
let her deal with it.
If you don't tell her and she finds out you knew, she will think that you condone it, and she may question your loyalty to her in the future. Whether there's merit to thought process or not.
2 reasons:
let her deal with it.
If you don't tell her and she finds out you knew, she will think that you condone it, and she may question your loyalty to her in the future. Whether there's merit to thought process or not.
I normally don't say much on the forum, but here is my $.02. One thing that seems to be getting passed over is that Brian is an a** to Amy. She may be too afraid to break up with him,(how does he treat her poorly?) and is finding better treatment from Josh. Naturally she would go to someone else who doesn't treat her that way. That doesn't excuse cheating, but it is hard to feel sorry for Brian. And from Josh's point of view he may be rescuing someone who needs help from a crappy boyfriend.
You should start out by telling Amy & Josh to come clean and be mature about it. If she is not happy with Brian then don't stay with him. If not, you as Brian's friend should say something. Not saying anything is like having your friend watch someone steal your bike, but not do or say anything because he does not want to become involved. You would have a hard time calling him a friend.
After that Brian should have a good talking to about how not to treat girlfriends like s***. Especially if he ever wants to stay in a healthy long term relationship. Again if your friend is an a** he should be told so. If he stops being your friend, than he was not a good friend to begin with.
Hopefully the mature friends will at least be there for your wedding no matter how it turns out. Those who can't suck it up for at least one day for someone else, are probably not the greatest of friends. To me that is a good friend
Blueraven
You should start out by telling Amy & Josh to come clean and be mature about it. If she is not happy with Brian then don't stay with him. If not, you as Brian's friend should say something. Not saying anything is like having your friend watch someone steal your bike, but not do or say anything because he does not want to become involved. You would have a hard time calling him a friend.
After that Brian should have a good talking to about how not to treat girlfriends like s***. Especially if he ever wants to stay in a healthy long term relationship. Again if your friend is an a** he should be told so. If he stops being your friend, than he was not a good friend to begin with.
Hopefully the mature friends will at least be there for your wedding no matter how it turns out. Those who can't suck it up for at least one day for someone else, are probably not the greatest of friends. To me that is a good friend
Blueraven
GHOSTWITTHEMOST
New Member
Josh came over last night and we confronted him. Today he is talking to Amy about Nicole Justin and I knowing the secret. After a really long talk about EVERYTHING he doesn't agree that Brian needs to know. He wants to talk to Amy about what's going to happen. I said well what if she doesn't leave him for u? Brian's just never going to know? I said that he needs to know his gf has been cheating. U can't have 4 close friends know about this and not say anything. He doesn't like Brian. He said he needs to go. Josh is going to keep persuing Amy. He wants her. We will see what Amy does today when josh talks to her today but whatever it is I needs to be done now! Because I feel guilty for working with the man! I would want to know!! If Brian knew something and didn't tell me. I'd be pissed. So I told josh to get on this now
ack... imo, u really, really should not have allowed it to be about "u knowing the secret" etc. their drama has nothing to do with u, and by putting urself in the confrontation position, u've now just gone from being a "bystander friend" to "nosey, meddling participant" in both the cover up & the drama.
ur friend will not like that u kept the secret from him for this long and secretly harbor resentment towards u- regardless of how "ok" he seems about it in front of u. and the cheater friend will hate u for ratting him out.
as a friend to both sides, u simply have moral issues & feel stuck in the middle. and, honestly a simple, anonymous note or email to all parties involved or something would've been much cleaner. then just act surprised.
Just my .02....
ur friend will not like that u kept the secret from him for this long and secretly harbor resentment towards u- regardless of how "ok" he seems about it in front of u. and the cheater friend will hate u for ratting him out.
as a friend to both sides, u simply have moral issues & feel stuck in the middle. and, honestly a simple, anonymous note or email to all parties involved or something would've been much cleaner. then just act surprised.
Just my .02....
Well he is "All In" now so let the drama begin!
:scared:
:sinister:
opcorn::wreck:
GHOSTWITTHEMOST
New Member
I wish I didn't find out and I wish he would find out on his own. But I was told so now I'm in the middle. The talk last night was to tell josh to handle it how he needs too. But it has to be done now because now people know.i didn't want anything to do with this. But the news was givin.
GHOSTWITTHEMOST
New Member
So I guess I'm loosing friends over something that I had nothing to do with.
Im pretty surprised how many people would just ignore something like this...
I see my friends as my family. If I knew my brothers wife was cheating on him, damn right I am going to tell him. If one of my friends knew my wife was cheating on me and said nothing, guess what? They would no longer be my friend if I found out. If you did come and tell me, I would have twice as much respect for you.
I see my friends as my family. If I knew my brothers wife was cheating on him, damn right I am going to tell him. If one of my friends knew my wife was cheating on me and said nothing, guess what? They would no longer be my friend if I found out. If you did come and tell me, I would have twice as much respect for you.
i agree, im a loyal friend...the brotherhood me and my best friend have is priceless and the respect and honor we share is a great feat that many people cant achieve between two people...id never let my kin be betrayed like that and id expect them to defend me all the same.Im pretty surprised how many people would just ignore something like this...
I see my friends as my family. If I knew my brothers wife was cheating on him, damn right I am going to tell him. If one of my friends knew my wife was cheating on me and said nothing, guess what? They would no longer be my friend if I found out. If you did come and tell me, I would have twice as much respect for you.
True that. But, his friend is unkind to his GF and already has relationship problems.
My thinking is that it's good to always try to do the right thing consistently and in a timely fashion.
That said, if u consider someone a true friend, then u don't wait until like months go by sitting on this type of sensitive information and then out of guilt & fear suddenly decide to say something about it finally- only b'cuz u r afraid it'll ruin ur own wedding. lol...
Am not doggin or anything, but am just putting some perspective on it. Black & white, right & wrong. It's pretty clear cut usually, and it only gets worse when u wait.
My thinking is that it's good to always try to do the right thing consistently and in a timely fashion.
That said, if u consider someone a true friend, then u don't wait until like months go by sitting on this type of sensitive information and then out of guilt & fear suddenly decide to say something about it finally- only b'cuz u r afraid it'll ruin ur own wedding. lol...
Am not doggin or anything, but am just putting some perspective on it. Black & white, right & wrong. It's pretty clear cut usually, and it only gets worse when u wait.
bloodypulp
New Member
I walked in on my cousins GF cheating while looking for him. Went straight to his job and told him. Drove him home to deal with it and back him up. Threw them both out on the street and we've been tighter ever since.
linkgt
Member
Best advice in this thread
He's a better man than me, I would've been tempted to grab my Glock 45. I suspect my ex-wife was screwing around on me with her ex but never had proof. I just told her I was done and she could go fu$% her "friend". Dirty Wh@re! Oh well, I have a wonderful wife and two wonderful step-daughters and an awesome little boy. I feel better now. :soapbox::rockon: I had the last laugh too. She got out of the Navy before I did and was driving to California with her Ex with his piece of $hit cherokee pulling the horse trailer (I let her take my horse, I kept my dog-he hated her). Well on my way to my new GF's place in Va I passed by a cherokee broken down on the mountain from WV to VA. I honked and slowed to ask if they needed a ride or a tow. They said thank God, YES! I said call someone that gives a $hit, flipped the double bird salute and let her hear my dual flowmasters.
Don't know if switchin' teams is the answer.