I need advice...on a job offer

[CrazyCawi]

I understand....this is the internet, its my life my choices, BUT I want some outside opinions beyond the wife and I's please. So some backround:

The wife and I had a dispute about money a few weeks back(this came in after I lost my last job due to budget cuts and I stood up for some of the people being cut, and I got lynched as well after the meeting the following day) But what it came down to is selling cars doesnt pay much, you have to sell 12 cars to make a decent living of about $2500-$3000 after taxes roughly. To sell 12 cars isnt easy, and the store Im at doesnt have alot of traffic. Long story short I brought home $900 after tax last month. The fiance said shes considered leaving me because of not making much money and shes scared financially after I lost my last job mentioned above($40k a year). So I took that to heart and she said its because how would we raise a family and so on, wouldnt be easy at all. Now Im the opposite, if she was wheel chair bound, burned from head to toe, or even lost her job and couldnt ever get one, Id still love her and want to be with her, were different like that. I Think with my heart, she thinks with her head.

Well Last week I got a job offer and it was a really good offer, they were offering 36k a year guaranteed which switches to a 30% tier after 10k in gross sold(So anything after 10k I get 30% of it rather than the salary) versus the $1250 before tax guarantee I have now. Its an aftermarket manager position and well my dilema is the fact that my current boss when I went to tell him Im leaving for a new position(I've known him for 8 years[since i was 14]) and He is trying to describe every reason why I shouldnt take this job such as how hard the position is to make a living, how most stores close their aftermakret as it cost to much compared to profit, ect...& and that I should continue to sell cars for him. This guy used to be a GM of two large dealerships and was a 500k a year guy so he knows what hes talking about BUT he also knows how to "Put people together" easily and he has my trust so Im afraid hes putting me together a bit....So Im confused, I dont know if I listen to the ones trying to hire me or do I listen to the guy trying to keep me? I cant live off $900 and the inconsistent amount of car sales, but ive only been here 6 weeks which god knows isnt long enough to establish selling cars but Im afraid of going broke trying to get there and If I go broke I know I lose the fiance because you cant raise a family or anything on $900....

There is alot of info If I wrote something that doesnt quite make sense please ask and Ill clarify or add info, please I need advice......

 

[AFDavis11]

It sounds to me like one job offers more consistent pay. If money were an issue to me I'd go for the job that is more consistent. You can pick up some extra part time work, if really needed, as long as you have consistency.

I also think this is a bad time to be in car sales.

 

[rockmurf]

I would also look at dumping the fiance. Like you said, if she was wheelchair bound you would be there for her and she is talking about dumping you over a few dollars. Time for her to go now. Ref. the job see if you can talk to other aftermarket mgrs to see how they are doing and how long they have been doing it. Good luck to you, these are trying times that will get better.

 

[CrazyCawi]

I would also look at dumping the fiance. Like you said, if she was wheelchair bound you would be there for her and she is talking about dumping you over a few dollars. Time for her to go now. Ref. the job see if you can talk to other aftermarket mgrs to see how they are doing and how long they have been doing it. Good luck to you, these are trying times that will get better.

Well I understand that...we have different mind sets and people do disagree on money, idk if just dumping her would be the solution? and a side note, Id be the only aftermarket manager there. I don't know any other ones to call and reference with?

 

[BrueThru]

Wow CC, thats a tough situation.

Not that I'm any kind of expert reguarding relationships and certainly don't want to upset you but I don't exactly care for your lady's attitude.

If your going to love some one then do that. You can't add criteria to love. Love is unconditional.

Whether you have a 100K a year job or if your on food stamps, loving a person means having a willingness to compromise to be with that person. If she can't accept your pay check and is willing to walk because of it, I say good riddance.

I'm sure you care for her a great deal but for me thats a breach of contract.

Forgot to add...if there are children involved that of coarse changes things and then you have a whole other set of problems to contend with.

Good luck to you bro. Don't forget my signature. Powerful stuff there.

 

[Marthy]

I will take the job, worth the risk. At $900.00 a month you don't risk too much... there's only one way up! For the girl... tell her her if her a$$ is getting to big you will trade her in for a skinny one.

Sometime a fresh start don't hurt. New job, new girl... what about moving also? Good luck! That's what I did when I left my ex psycho. I move 1200 miles away, got a new job and I got married to my best friend! She's awesome and we are having a great time together. And I can ride my bike 12 months a year!!!

 

[dart1963]

Well I understand that...we have different mind sets and people do disagree on money, idk if just dumping her would be the solution? and a side note, Id be the only aftermarket manager there. I don't know any other ones to call and reference with?

Take the job, dump the girl. Relationships are not about money, what happens next time when you get laid off, or if you break a leg and can't work.... for her to even say that, I'd dump her. I've been married for over 13 years... money is always an issue, when it's tight, it's tight, you both have to bear down and get through it.

Just my $.02

 

[elikhom]

I feel for you CC, I like that you stood up for some coworkers, and after reading some of your other posts you seem to be a cool guy.



Anyway, I'd take the job, I wouldn't be able to make it with $900 a month, and neither do you. Try as hard as possible to leave doors open, so explain to your boss exactly why you are leaving and that you liked working there a lot. I'm sure your boss knows how hard is to get good workers so he doesn't want you to leave.
Also, he might be right about these positions not lasting long so as always, hope for the best but prepare for the worst, while at this new job keep looking for better opportunities and network a lot.

Take care.

 

[Rabbitman109]

CC, this really sucks man. I have to agree on your lady, I wouldn't put up with that. I lost my job back in '09, it took me 9 months to get another one, making much less, and my fiancee stuck with me. They don't say, "For better or until it gets worse." It is for better and worse. I think that speaks volumes of how she views the relationship between you two. You are a nice guy, and I hate to say it, but I was a nice guy too, and after 2.5 years of being separated, my ex and I still can't get along because I had been a push over for a long time.

Someone once told me that there are more important things in life than money. But you know what? Sometimes you need more than "important things". You have to make ends meet before you get to the more important things. Nothing in life is free. I really wish that I could offer more assitance in this matter, but if it were me, I would lose the woman, and take the better paying job. There are always other women and there will always be other jobs. Good luck and let me know if there is anything that I can do to help out.

 

[Deanohh]

when there is an opportunity for more than $900, you should seriously consider taking the chance... there isn't that much to lose and a lot to gain. People always say... there will be another opportunity pretty soon.... but take it from me, there isn't. You've got to take it while you can.

 

[AFDavis11]

I didn't address the girl because I dont like combining problems and solutions when I think they should be separated.

I don't think you should dump the girl, but it's a warning sign against marriage. Technically, women who use their heads are few and far between and you should genuinely consider keeping the ones that are realistic. If you've been with her for a bit, comments like hers can also mean she is thinking about settling down with you too.

I think you should only break up with her if you want to break up with her.

 

[Detrich]

sorry to hear about the tough situation CC...

re: the job, my advice is to really go out of your way and try to do your due diligence... that is, go the extra mile to find out everything you can about what being an aftermarket mgr entails, its job stability, the pay etc. etc. start by networking and reaching out to friends/ family/ acquaintenances in the industry. maybe even go to some dealerships and see if any of them will chat with you and give you some info. any bit of "inside" info helps. that said, you should also find out how much unemployment pays in MN. here in California it's about $1K to $1.5k per month. this way you can calculate what exactly it is you're risking and whether it's worth it or not, because worst case is you can just collect unemployment if you have to job hunt again...

re: the fiance, it's a matter of understanding her character... is she just saying that to motivate you, or is she really serious about leaving you over this? does she have enough emotion, love, and devotion to your relationship? well, only you can make that call... but, like everyone here said already, true love goes beyond "economics."

a good friend told me once that to know if you've found the right girl, imagine yourself in the worst life situation possible- ie maybe physically disabled, maybe penniless, and possibly homeless.... and, ask yourself honestly... in that situation, which girl would stand by you through the tough times, the good & the bad- without any doubts or waiver. and, if you can honestly answer in your heart that she would do that, then she's the one. but, if not, then you need to seriously work on your relationship more or re-evaluate what type of future you have together.

either way, we're all pulling for you. and, don't give up. things will get better.

 

[Spitfire]

CC, all's I can say is that if she's willing to leave you now for a few bucks, she'll be willing to leave you in the future for a few bucks. You can end up making 50-100k/yr and everything being nice and dandy and then the next year lose the job etc and what then? You already have a couple kids and she leaves you then? Who's saying she won't cheat on you for a guy with money? Not trying to be harsh but if she's "willing" to leave you at all then it's not love on her behalf...

As far as the job goes, do what makes you happy!!

 

[See red]

Ok,


I have been told I am too bold, abrasive or harsh on this forum... However... I will tell you this much. I know for a fact that if you love what you do, you will make the money you want. I am 37, I have a house, wife, three kids, blah blah.... Now, I also have an ex-wife, and this is NOT my first house lol.. My eldest is with my first wife.


Here is what played out, I got married didn't see a couple of dozen red flags like exactly the comment yours told you. She is not lieing. money is what she cares about, say what you want, she visualised what she feels she wants or needs and has calculated that into her relationship with you. Sucks I know.

I quit my old job, hated it.... bought a new car the same day lol! We just had my daughter, she was pissed and started fighting with me till I left. I gave the house to her and started my new job, this culminated into a 100k a year career, THEN...... bum bum bUUUuuummmmmm..... she wanted to work things out!:spank:




Come to the picture in the interum.... my present wife. She was a freind from high school. She didn't care about WHAT I did, how much I made, nothing!
She told me to go for it, go after the career I wanted. sure....hmm... now, at this time we were only roomys, no benefits lmao! I told her I would probably be hurting for cash, she said so? We ended up getting into a relationship, then I asked if she wanted to get married. She said nope lol! so we lived together for 5 years then got married. The thing is, she wanted to see me succeed.



A GOOD woman will help drive the potential of a man, not push or force what she can. My wife puts it like this, " I am a potential gold digger" lmao! Her theory is, I will make more if she is patient and nudges me in the direction I want to go but hesitate on. She is right, and a GREAT woman.

Take the job, don't worry about her thoughts. If you like the job, and like what you do, do it. If she doesn't like the money, well, all women are whores, believe it or not, you can pay for sex in small doses, or never ending payments LMAO!!!! It's up to her to stay or leave, follow what you heart, not hers.

 

[CrazyCawi]

I understand everything you guys are saying about the girl part. We have been together for 7 years, things have been excellent with us, after 2 years we took a 9 month break and I told her she needed to kind of "Grow up" and take us serious and none of the jealousy stuff(She used to try and make me jealous for the attention), we got back together and everything has been great. I have a feeling her financial nervousness comes from the fact that she has very minimal bills as in her parents paid 80% of her student loans and she only owes 2k on a 2008 focus she bought brand new and put 8k down on it when she bought it. So she is VERY financially oriented. Im sure she saw flashes of "what if this happened and we had a house, or kids what would we do?" and that made her scared. She hasnt expressed this since our talk, and today I sat down with her and told her If I take this opportunity I need your support, you have to understand this is a higher turnover job and its risky/hard to do.....If in 3 months or 6 months it doesnt work out you cant chalk this up as a "Josh failed at this, I cant deal with it I'm gone" And her resposne was "you dont have to worry about that hun, you have my support." As I said, im more of the emotional thinker and doer, where she is the logical, analytic-all thinker. I dont think she intended to actually leave me, but moreso her way of saying it really made her stress out and nervous. Im not making excuses for the way she said it or how it went down, trust me. It was hard for me to hear those words and I certainly analysed that conversation with a fine tooth comb, and certainly let her know I didnt like what she said at all. We had a LONG talk which actually ended up pretty good when that all went down. All in all I love this girl, and I have for 7 years, I understand we are two different people but I am trying to get her to understand lifes not all tooty fruity, and that it takes work. She came from dual income family that makes $175k a year so shes used to things coming fairly easy. Its a process. I have asked her if I was diabled/wheelchair bound and whatnot, would she still stay with me or would it be to hard and leave, and she swore shed stay shes not that girl. So Idk guys....I suppose there is alot more backround on this subject than I can offer via typing to convey.


On the job note, I called and talked to one of my old boss's who is very good friends with tom my current boss, we've all known eachother for that 7-8 year period and Mark and Tom have known eachother for 12-13 years. He told me to forget about what he was telling me, that tom was just trying to put me together. He is new to the dealership he is at, and its filled with alot of veterans so hes not part of the inner circle even though he is a GM, and I was accepted into that circle within days of working there(Idk why Im nothing special) but Im toms only comfort shield there, someone he is familiar with, and I have an in with all the other workers and have an inside scope on what people think of tom and his performance as a GM and so on. Which makes sense, why would tom want to let his only comfort there go, and the one who can feed him any info he needs to succeed. Mark told me to ask myself what tom has offered other than a menial sales job all these years, and hes right, nothing, just an opportunity. I can always go back to tom if this fails, im his "Boy" since I was 14. So I think Im moving forward with the opportunity to advance my career, its a big step and a nice asset to my resume, and I just need to be confident. Its hard though when someone you trust puts you together and sells you on why you shouldn't leave him and the position because I trust him. It confuses you and makes you second guess youself and the choice. But thanks for all the support guys, any more advice would be great! You guys are the most amazing community, and I knew I could count on you guys to get real life advice and I just feel so warm and welcomed here, its truly a blessing to know you all! This means so much guys!

I start monday....Im nervous, but excited as hell to open up this new chapter in life. I wonder where it will lead

ps Im going to get on the bike and RIDE right now...I wanna get rid of some stress this day has brought on. The fiance is busy at work till 8am so I can just go be free(BUT ATGATT) haha :thumbup:

 

[Mr Citrus]

I would go for the job, and seriously consider the situation with your fiancee,
one of the posters put it right when he said love is unconditional.
You're in my thoughts, hope everything works out for you.

 

[dart1963]

Good luck with the new job... and the lady

 

[DakinechicK]

Well I'm always the late answer. Everybody said what I wanted to say, so easy enough I guess. I'm happy that you took the job though as new opportunities weather good or bad can be helpful on this road of life.

As for your girl... that is a place I should not go, though I agree wholeheartedly with what most of the other guys said. (Good job guys!!) BUT, I will say this, I could never tell someone I truly love that I would leave them for that circumstance. True love stands by for ups and downs, especially money, as that is a huge issue in a LOT of relationships. You should never have to hear those hurtful words "Im leaving you because you don't make enough money" now or ever; not with someone you consider spending your life with, who also should be your very best friend. Words can hurt and your one and only should never hurt you or bring you down, they support you. Support makes relationships grow and become better. I understand that she made a mistake in saying what she did, but I know in my heart, I would NEVER even THINK to say that to my love.
Okay, I'm done criticizing.

Congrats on your new job!!! Good Luck!!!

 

[See red]

That's when EVEYTHING happens..... When the hell have you EVER said, BOY today would be the best day ever to be laid off, hit by a car, have your wallet stolen, or kicked in the nuts??????




NEVER!











Honestly, if you are PLANNING to buy a house, have a kid, or get married, when " everything is right" money and health are gifts to be charished, today is a gift, that's why it's called the present.



Open your presents.

pssst: mommy and daddy paid up her bills, guess what she thinks you should do........ lol have a blessed day.

 

[See red]

Good for you on the job, Good for you on the girl, now go make babies and build a house, then loose your job and go on vacation! lol! ok, keep the job,