What should a father do?

[motoneta123]

My son (He's 19) wants a bike to commute to college and work, his argument make sense but i don't know what to do and of course my wife doesn't want to hear about it. In one hand helping him I can be sure to start him right (MSF/right bike-ninja 250/gear/advice) but what if something goes wrong.?.... he's young and you know kids sometimes like to show off..... in the other hand he may want to get a bike on his own in the future and may not feel so compelled to follow my rules and learn by himself (the hard way). I haven't had any serious accidents yet, i ride most days to work and make a point about being safe but we all know there is always a risk.
What do you guys think about this? i really need your advice, thank you.

 

[JSP]

My son (He's 19) wants a bike to commute to college and work, his argument make sense but i don't know what to do and of course my wife doesn't want to hear about it. In one hand helping him I can be sure to start him right (MSF/right bike-ninja 250/gear/advice) but what if something goes wrong.?.... he's young and you know kids sometimes like to show off..... in the other hand he may want to get a bike on his own in the future and may not feel so compelled to follow my rules and learn by himself (the hard way). I haven't had any serious accidents yet, i ride most days to work and make a point about being safe but we all know there is always a risk.
What do you guys think about this? i really need your advice, thank you.

Something may very well happen... thats a risk you and your family must be willing to take. Motorcycles ARE dangerous and accidents can happend. If he truly wants if for college? Seems a cheap gas saving car would be better... What is he going to do in the winter months/really really cold days?

If he wants a bike, he is 19 and will make that decision if he truly wants to. You can help guide him and make sure he takes the right path, but there is only so much you can do. I was put in the hospital simply because I went riding and lost concentration from lack of sleep and rode into the side of a mountain. Others have been hit by other cars. Lots of times its not the bikes fault at all. Spunky here hit some really bad oil slicks on the road and had a pretty bad wreck.

There is a very real risk when you ride a bike. I'm not saying he shouldnt, but only you and your family know his maturity level and all of that. He can get just as hurt on a ninja 250. They can hit 90 mph without much fuss. My wreck was only around 35 mph and did some bad damage (blew my shoulder to hell) to me and I was wearing a full leather suit. I continued to ride. I know the risks and accept them.

Not sure how we can really help you other than actually telling you, yes they are dangerous and yes it can happen. Many do go without a down, but the statistics are against him. Just be mature, dont dick around on the bike, be safe, be smart, be very aware of other vehicles, NEVER get complacent, and dont live in fear on the bike if you do get him one. He has to be aware of the dangers but still be relaxed and alert instead of riding in fear.

 

[Diluted]

+1 to what Jay said. Ultimately the decision is yours (his, since he's 19?). Even going through all the classes and having the right gear it's impossible to prepared for everything that could possibly happen (you know this since you ride).

 

[anson650]

I voted NO. Your wife does not want him to have a bike. You two have to agree on this issue.
I could write a book about my getting a bike and another when my daughter called me and said "Hey dad I'm going to buy a bike!".
But your son lives at home with you and your wife. There are cars that are almost as economical as the bikes we ride.
Anson
sorry son you'll have to wait.

 

[karl213]

If you tell him no, he may just get angry and buy one for the wrong reasons. I agree with Jay, there is always risks doesnt matter how old you are. I have been riding street bikes since I was 18. Ya my mom wasnt to happy when I first got it, but she eventually gave in.

 

[Rookasaki]

My 2 cents... If he really wants a bike he's going to get it, or it's only a matter of time. I would Introduce him to the MSF course and (I'm sure you have already) share your experiences, the ups/downs of riding. Just have a heart to heart talk... Make sure he really knows the risks. You know he will speed and push him limits at times (I'm no Saint, I do more then I should) that's just human nature and being young...

I'm only 28 with a 4 1/2 year old son, so to be honest, I really don't know how it would feel if my child asked me about a motorcycle... But, the above comment is where I would start

 

[dart1963]

only you know your son... and how he will behave.

I regret waiting until I was in my late 30's to start riding... if my Dad had said let's get a bike... I'd have 20+ years experience now... I can't get that back... missed out on taking off on the weekends before I got married and had a family and responsibilities. Now I get to ride because my kids have grown up a bit and the wife doesn't mind me disappearing on some weekends.

You have an opportunity to get him started off right, you also have an obligation to either get your wife on board, or drop it... but in the end, if he does decide to ride, wouldn't your wife want to know he's learning from you and not from his squidly R1/GSXR1000/'busa/every other bike a new rider should avoid riding college classmates?

Guy that used to work with me just went through this... his son wanted to ride and he hadn't ridden in years. He took it as an opportunity to stay close with his son and to get out and enjoy riding again.

I'm already trying to get my kids interested, I think the risks are worth the rewards.... just my take.

 

[JSP]

I also just got my dad into riding again. Hasnt rode in like 20 years. So he is on a 600cc cruiser and is just like a kid in a candy store now. He loves it and it gives us more time together. Him being on a cruiser also keeps my ass in check while we are riding. Im not tearing up the back roads like I used to.

I am extremely worried as well though. I know how they felt when I started riding and when I had my accident now. I fear of an accident for him, just as I would if my own kid was riding. I dont think his old bones could handle an off... haha It does suck having to really worry about someone else. So its good we have each other to watch each others backs.

You guys should all sit down together (WITH your wife as well) and really talk it out as a family. It will stick with all of you and him when he rides. You're wife can hear first hand how responsible he will be, etc.

 

[Spunky99]

He's 19 an no motorcycle experience.
Bike will be outside and vandalized, tires flattened etc.
Get him a car and the wife will be happy.

I was riding dirt bikes for 5 years and street bikes for 2 years at 19 so without that experience the odds are that he will get hurt. Don't risk it.

 

[Hethrir]

A small story:

My dad was a pilot, flew for many years so i grew up around planes and the like. He also got a couple of his friends into it, they picked up a plane because it was semi-economical and much much quicker. One day they crashed the plane, both of them were killed. Now, my dad was the one who got them into it, and he felt like crap. Completely understandable right? But at the same time, while he might have introduced these folks to the plane it was not his fault they crashed.

Similarly, my dad is the one who introduced me to motorcycle riding. I ride constantly, make mostly good decisions (MSF for the win imo) and have a blast with it. Now, if i crash my dad is going to feel like crap (to put it mildly) but hes not responsible for my crash now is he?

Your son wants a bike for a decent reason, finding parking at colleges suck and im speaking from experience. And in the end... its his decision.

but what im trying to put into perspective here is that shit can and often Bdoes happen, but your responsibility isnt to live his life for him. Its to guide him, mentor him, and otherwise help him develop into a functioning member of society.

 

[2010FZ6R White Lightning]

i got on my first bike at 19 and was responsibile about it, and got my dad into it. a year later he bought a new harley and me the fz, as long as your cool headed, know the rules of the road, and respect the danger i think itll be fine.

 

[wtnotch]

Jay's thoughts match mine exactly, and at the same time I agree with your wanting to do it correctly - especially the MSF classes thing.

Personally, when I went to college neither of my parents wanted me to get a bike. I went out of state to college, so what I did was to buy one anyhow. I learned the hard way. No major crashes but I would have been much better off with some actual training. If it were my son -and- you're comfortable with the risk, I'd let him get the bike and make sure he did the MSF classes. I'll add a weird suggestion as well - once he get enough time on the bike, have him do a Lee Parks school, a Keith Code school or something equivalent. That's the only really safe way to learn what the limits of a bike are and it make's you a lot more capable when the "oh Sh!t" moments occur - and they will. I'm sure Spunky would have ended up much worse without his bike handling skills.

 

[Fenixgoon]

personally i'd go with no. the bike would be nice to scoot around on, but wouldn't be too practical for the most part, IMO. you can get to most places just as well by walking, or using a regular bicycle.

plus it's an additional expense that could be used for other things (tuition, housing, etc.) not that i know, or am entitled to know by any means, your financial situation


i will also agree with other posters - if your son really wants a bike, he'll get it on his own (i know my parents don't like the bike ). that being said, maybe doing an MSF class (together?) would be a good way to get him started on the right foot for future riding. then again, it might make him want one even more UJM's are awesome starter bikes.

 

[motoneta123]

he has a car, we are in the process to get him a new one (still used) but he wants to get a bike instead and keep the old car for rainy days (we dont have a really long winter in So Cal) and his arguments are parking and gas and of course he likes the little ninjas

 

[Sparkxx1]

Honestly, I didn't vote. This is not something the community can vote on, for you. It comes down to knowing your kid. How long has he had a drivers license? Has he gotten any tickets yet? When he says I'm going to blah and back, how long does it take him to get there. Is he is a regular speeder? Does he talk on his cell and text while driving? These are all questions you have to ask yourself. If more than one are yes then you have a red flag I would lean to no. But you might just sit down and really try to make him understand that a bike is no joke.

Then after you recognize whether or not he is mature and responsible enough for a bike ask yourself and your son a second question. What are the advantages and disadvantages commuting in a car and in on a bike. Are there tolls that charge less for a bike, is there traffic along the way that you could split lane or ride on the shoulder to avoid. Is there enough parking at work/school that he wouldn't have much trouble getting to class in a car. A good question to ask yourselves will be, where are you going to fit your notebooks and textbooks. As a Junior in college sometimes I have to take heavy ass physics and math textbooks and i'll need two hard side cases for the bike for the fall semester. Do you guys have the financial means to pay for all these extras?

In my case I live in NYC, not only would I have to pay 12 dollars in toll a day to go to classes by car, but the traffic is unbelievable and finding parking in a car would take me 30 minutes to an hour in some cases. On a bike it would cost be 4 bucks of toll, which is equivalent to public transportation cost, plus theres tons of spots to put a bike. Also, does he have lots of friends? He might want to take into account that in a bike you can't just get on with 4 buddies and ride away to somewhere! College is about hanging out and study groups! If he has a girlfriend, is he ready to buy her gear and take her life into his hands?

Godspeed if you decide he can get a bike, my parents allowed me to get mine and sometimes I do find that I have to really restrain myself. As for the cold months on a bike, my school has a break from December 20th- February first so I can stay at home for most of the winter break. Or just use the buses/subway in NYC. Plus I can use public transportation for 2-3 months while it gets warm from February to march and also at the end of November. A bike also saves me an hour of transportation each way! that's two hours a day that I can sleep, study, or enjoy.

A good compromise might be I know you want a motorcycle, but right now you and I both know that a car would be an easier, better, and a more responsible compromise. Lets get you a car but we'll also take the MSF course and you can start practicing with my motorcycle. After a couple of months or when you graduate from college I'll try my hardest to pay for a motorcycle you would like. or we could get you a 250 in a year, etc.

Although you want to protect him, he has to get out there and explore. You can't experience life from a backseat. You gotta get in the drivers seat, take responsibility and take charge. Before you decide consider all the angles!

What's my source? I'm a 21 yr old college student that was having the same dilemma as him approximately 2 months ago. Not to say that the battle to convince my parents didn't take more than 6 months!

 

[Sparkxx1]

Oh, he has a car, I don't know most of my post probably still applies lol

 

[RockinRaven]

If you understand your son and believe that he can handle it and is responsible I would go for it. My first bike is the FZ6R i had a moped and other two wheel vehicles before this and it is just fine. My parents didn't want me to get one but I also told them that I wanted to commute to school and save money. My mom was not for it initially but she ended up co-signing for the loan. It really comes down to how much you trust your son. I would not if he would abuse it and hurt himself. I proved to my parents that I could and to this day I'm still alive. keep one thing in mind... How often are you 19. you are only young once, you might as well live it up. Im 20 now got my FZ6R when I was 19.

 

[Anthony]

Make him pay for some of it so he has a stake in the game...


If he has no cash, add more chores to his routine.


Hes 19, And one day you wont be around to guide him so id say support him and let it be a bonding epierience that will allow you to also teach him some more life lessons.


You will get slack from the wife and she will blame you if anything goes wrong, but being married im sure you know everythings always your fault anyway lol.

 

[CrazyCawi]

Well Im going to give my $.02 here and say take the opportunity to have him on your side and create that bond...safely. The reason I say this is because everyone in my family resents motorcycles as my father, when he was younger(19...hes currently 64) had his girlfriend on the back of his bike, they hit a bump in the road and she wasnt holding on tight enough and slid off the back and snapped her neck and died instantly. So needless to sayin riding motorcycle is a tough concept in my family. But I understood that, I just wish others in my family took an interest in it instead of constantly dogging me about it and how unsafe it is. I understand the enviroment I grew up in and that I wouldnt get support about it and so I didnt go making any crazy actions getting squidly...but if it is a banned subject in the family and you take away the opportunity, some squid or his own desire will cause him to get one with or without your blessing and BY GOD let me tell you having your blessing will be so much more beneficial. You know he wants a bike because he wants a bike, its not about commuting. Hes not 40 and asking for a 1970 enduro, he wants a bike because its a cool and bad ass concpet at age 19! Please for the sake of your kid and in creating that bond and enstilling the safety, please be on his side! Id hate to see him buy a bike out of spite and then something bad happen....:surrender:

 

[DakinechicK]

I don't think any parent is excited to send their kid off on a motorbike. I am almost 30 and I've been riding for about 12 years, and to this day my parents aren't happy with me riding motorcycles. I understand the risks involved. At 18, I'm not sure that I did. You, yourself know your son and how responsible he is and if he would be willing to take motorcycling seriously. Some people have big heads and think they are invincible... those are the majority of riders I see getting in accidents. Of course its dangerous, no matter how old you get. That will never change. This is a tough one because of the fact that you always want to protect your kids. That will never change. You will always be weary when he gets on his bike, but you can't control what he does forever. It's a scary world out there and you eventually you have to let go and let them make their own decisions. I understand that you guys would buy him the bike, so if your gut instinct says no, then follow it. BUT, keep in mind, that if he wants one, he eventually will get one.

Sorry that I'm not much help...but ultimately this is you and your wifes decision. Follow your heart!