Hate my life

[Daniel.Andariese]

Well right now I pretty much hate my life. I may be successful at my job but Im a complete f!@@ up when it came to college. I tried again and failed I put work head of college, and when it comes down to it I procrastinate to

A) Spend time with my fiance(she works nights, we see eachother on wensdays and sundays)
B) Recoup from a long week of work 12-930 every day and a 2 hour commute each way
C) Ride my bike(which usually is just commuting)


I fucked up, I let a class slip that I failed in the past and turned a few assignments in late, and here I stand being kicked out. Im ashamed of myself and feel absolutely worthless, and was to ashamed to ask my family or my fiance for help when I got behind because I didnt want to be a let down.

I Dont know how to tell her, weve been together for over 5 years, but this is the biggest let down not only to myself, but to her.....and my family, and to hers. Yeah I can go to another school, but I switched degrees at this college twice, and I have alot of student loan debt. Right now I feel like diving off a bridge(I wont do that) its just the feeling I have. Idk how to get over this. College just isnt my thing but I have put so much money into the degree I cant just walk away without a degree and pay 70K in loans for nothing. I had 3 quarters left....THREE.

Im afraid she might want to leave me because of this failure. My job is successful but who the hell cant pass college. Lots of people in this world can do it....why cant I. So 6 cigarettes and about a half hour of crying later....nothing has changed other then the fact I dont feel like crying anymore. I still feel like the biggest waste in the world guys. I let everyone down, including myself.

Here's some advice: go smoke 6 more cigarettes, grow a set of balls, chin up, chest out and those who would walk away from you is not worth your time or your emotions. Dude all you need is to ride your fuckin rocket for awhile you'll forget and by the time you get off, you wont give a shit!